| I kissed jenny, on a purse |
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| 02:15pm 05/01/2010 |
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Jenny was having lunch in the city, and would text me when she was through. In the meantime, I checked out the (dull) Dennis Hopper and the (fun) Screen Worlds exhibitions at ACMI before exploring a Christian bookstore. I was just purchasing a soft-cover New Testament when my pocket shook: "hey let's meet at the big purse on the corner of bourke and elizabeth in about 10 minutes?"
Sure enough, Jenny was sitting on the concrete purse, chatting with a friend. She asked about the project, then explained: "I don't want a full-on snog or anything." Despite this, she was perfectly willing to stand on the purse to take the requested "Hollywood Kiss." You would have been able to see us for miles. I made a silly "mmm" noise. |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| I kissed louis, at the front door |
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| 11:15am 04/01/2010 |
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I had offered him a cake kiss or a goodbye kiss. He opted for the latter, terrified. "Kiss me, kiss me," I said once he'd loaded himself up for the journey. So he puckered and pecked, so intent on keeping it brief that we bumped noses. Then he set off along the pathway, turning once more to flash me a Disney smile. |
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Read 5 - Post |
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| I kissed ivan, on the 29th floor |
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| 05:30pm 03/01/2010 |
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Ivan seemed ill-at-ease on the 29th floor, even as he let me in to the spacious, messy apartment. The view was expansive, magical even, but Ivan was looking forward to returning to Deer Park. "It's only for a few days," he explained. I turned to face him on the balcony and we kissed, gently and slowly, accompanied by the whirr of the distant streets.
Later, on the couch, our kissing was still slow, interrupted occasionally by sudden bouts of ear-kissing. "Are you sensitive, there?" I suppose I was squealing. When I invited him to join my friends at the movies he said: "but this is the movie. We are the characters." |
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Read 20 - Post |
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| I kissed a foreign woman, beside a highway |
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| 07:30pm 02/01/2010 |
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I had scheduled Nathalie, but she was late, then chosen the popcorn sellers, but they were distracted; so it was with a certain desperation that I stepped out of the Astor Theatre in search of a pre-film kiss. Walking quickly along Dandenong Road I spotted a woman in purple approaching with shopping bags. We exchanged glances, looked away, then I said: "excuse me, excuse me - can I please kiss you?"
Her hair was red. Her eyes were made up in white. When she spoke it was with an accent from the east, as if she were being squeezed. "But you are strange. Strange - a stranger!" Yes. "Why?" I don't know. Because it's the second day of the year. "Yes, but why me?" I don't know. Because you are a very beautiful lady. (A hundred passing cars.)
It was taking too long. I said, smiling: "I see that there are only two things that can happen, now. Either you say no and we keep walking, or we kiss then walk on." I gestured existentially along the footpath. And she said: "okay I'll say yes."
She held her head still and I kissed her on the lips. It was a short kiss, but long enough for me to taste smoke and lipstick. "Bye!" we agreed, then parted. I couldn't walk straight. I was floating. It was the first time I'd kissed a stranger, and the first time I'd kissed a girl. |
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Read 54 - Post |
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| I kissed chad, in a building site |
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| 12:00pm 01/01/2010 |
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Chad didn't want to be seen so we walked quickly away from the city, following the river, looking for a quiet place. The mist had made things slippery, but we managed to get off the boardwalk and into a kind of building site complete with fruit-trees, a crane, a vintage wheelbarrow and an upturned rowboat. Not to mention a fully-fledged historical tall-ship, as backdrop.
He pulled me towards his sunglasses. I closed my eyes and we kissed. He smelt like moisturiser. We were leaning against stacks of wood. His technique was repetitive but enjoyable, with a smacking event interspersed by periods of horizontal tongue-waving - always against my lower lip, but at varying speeds. He would stop whenever people were seen on the boardwalk, but if I moved away he would pull me back, lovingly. "Have you brought people here before?" he asked. I said: "you're the first." He pulled at my t-shirt to get a look at my chest.
On the way out we talked about perfume, and agreed to get lunch. Crossing the Yarra on Queen's Bridge he suddenly kissed me again - very briefly, almost missing.
[Quotes: "You are always closing your eyes, when kissing." "I can tell you are a non-smoker, from your breath." ] |
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Read 32 - Post |
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| lemon kissed |
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| 07:30am 31/12/2009 |
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I woke early on the last day of the year and immediately kissed a lemon, briefly, by way of goodbye. |
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Read 23 - Post |
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| lemon budgie-smugglers |
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| 05:30pm 30/12/2009 |
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Before going to the beach I enhanced my penis with a lemon, pushing it into the front of my speedos and admiring the absurd bulge. Then I walked along Fitzroy street without trousers and set myself up on the sand. It was my first outdoor swim of the summer; soon I was distracted from the fruit by the sea. |
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Read 8 - Post |
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| lemon spiked |
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| 11:30pm 29/12/2009 |
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I added a lemon to the front gate of a home around the corner, pushing it down over its central spike. Other parts of the gate were decorated in baubles. The effect was harmonious. |
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| lemon carwash |
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| 09:30pm 28/12/2009 |
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I took a lemon to a public carwash, inserted a coin and attacked the fruit with the high-pressure hose. I also played with the foaming brush, scrubbing at the lemon until it was ready to be rinsed and waxed. |
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| lemon fish-food |
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| 02:30pm 27/12/2009 |
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In the ornamental garden at Bendigo's Golden Dragon Museum I fed shards of lemon peel to the fish. They appeared to love it, swimming around and across each other to gulp at the pieces. Some of the lemon was regurgitated then swallowed by a second fish, even a third, but in the end it was all swallowed. |
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| lemon boxed |
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| 06:30pm 26/12/2009 |
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On Boxing Day I made a punching bag from a green lemon attached to a rubber band. It was an effective tool for exercise, and bounced back rhythmically, until a split in the fruit made it fall. |
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| lemon after-sun |
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| 06:30pm 25/12/2009 |
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I was surnburnt, on Christmas Day, so cooled my skin with a slice of lemon, pushing its juice across my elbows and forearms. |
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| lemon christmas decoration |
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| 06:30pm 24/12/2009 |
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Having looped a rubber band through the end of a lemon I affixed it to the Christmas tree in the lounge-room of my friend. Then I added the other decorations. |
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| lemon chocolates |
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| 05:30pm 23/12/2009 |
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For the Christmas Eve feast I prepared santa-shaped treats from melted white chocolate, lemon essence and finely-grated lemon rind. When I took them from the fridge and popped them from their molds the chocolates had an eerie glow-in-the-dark sheen. The next evening, by candlelight, they were exquisite. |
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Read 2 - Post |
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| lemon candied |
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| 06:30pm 22/12/2009 |
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Candying lemons takes large quantities of time, persistence and sugar. I found myself with all of these a few days before Christmas, so set about removing peel from fruit, and pith from peel, then stirring the coloured strips through a 50/50 mixture of sugar and water, over heat. After an hour the peel had turned transparent. I took it out of the syrup and rolled it through yet more sugar before tasting a single mind-blowing slice. Season's Greetings! |
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| lemon flipbook |
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| 02:30pm 21/12/2009 |
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Using an interactive display at ACMI's Screen World's exhibition Rosie and I created a five-second film featuring a fast-moving lemon, which we then converted into a fifty-page flipbook. In it, a lemon shoots in from the left, then moves back from the right, then hurtles spookily towards the camera. |
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| lemon hybrid |
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| 06:30pm 20/12/2009 |
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I pushed a peach seed into a lemon and covered the breach with peel. Then I planted the hybrid fruit in a Footscray front garden, and watered it. |
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| lemon golf |
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| 07:30pm 19/12/2009 |
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I used the wooden golf club I'd found on the street to strike lemons along a laneway. Almost all of them exploded on impact, decorating the bluestone with streaks of yellow. |
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| lemon frisbee |
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| 05:30pm 18/12/2009 |
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Games at my staff Christmas party included frisbee, football and lemon frisbee, which lasted until the slice broke up, perfuming our hands. |
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